That Red Tornado episode made me cry like a little girl.

Back in the late Cretaceous period when I was in ninth grade, I got mono and was out of school for almost two months, mostly vegetating on the couch.

Aw, man. Now you got me thinking about my dad. He always used to say that Neil Diamond only had one song, but it was very long and he had just been releasing it in 3 minute increments over the years.

And proper conjugation of the subjunctive mood, to boot!

I thought it was pretty sweet when my 8th grade science teacher had us watch Star Wars and critique the science of it.

Actually, my daughter totally wants some of those for her bracelet to go with her Triforce and Deathly Hollows charms.

Great, now I'm going to have "Burger Rain" going through my head for about three days.

Taco Bell. My first pregnancy, I spent 20 dollars at a Taco Bell in one meal.

We should start a club. My kids are getting older now, so I'm starting to catch up on all the things I missed back in the day, then I scroll down to the comments section and they're all "2 years ago" and I'm all "But I finally have my pithy, referential comment ready TODAY!"

Ugh, youtube around election day. My kids are *still* randomly yelling out, "We just can't trust Brad Schneider!"

My love of Snorlax is becoming less and less ironic.

Took the kids to see the Hobbit, and my 8yo boy's big question at the end was: "Why wasn't anyone standing over Fili's body and crying?"

I don't understand the disparaging comment about Mortal Kombat, that movie was fantastic **

When I got home from school, I had awaiting for me the triple threat of M.A.S.H., Hogan's Heroes, and F-Troop.

Myself and Mr. Perry and the kids are going as Mario, Luigi, Wario, and Waluigi, so suck THIS, Fandango. I'm going to be the purple pants dude, whoever the hell that one is.

A few weeks ago, I was at Six Flags and saw someone with an a7x tshirt on and I got all excited … and then I realized, wait, I don't think we're coming at this from the same perspective.

The dog who only barked once story kills me every time.

My favorite part of the Iliad is actually in the Odyssey, when Odysseus goes down to the underworld, sees Achilles, and he's all like, "Yo, remember how I spent all the last epic poem struggling over whether to live a long but ordinary life and be forgotten, or if I should go out young, in a blaze of glory? Yeah, I…

Toy Story: turning kids into hoarders for almost twenty years now. Thanks a fucking lot, Pixar.

Mine, too. It's one of the few that he hasn't ripped apart after making.