I'm just grateful it's not Chima.

Lander's phone may well be ringing, but he's too busy scouting baseball to pick it up.

BIG RED NO OVER A BIG RED ONE, OBVIOUSLY.

Pardon the only tangentially related topic, but my seven year old boy saw the Hungry like the Wolf video and remarked, "He spent all that time hunting after a tiger and all he found was that woman. He must have been so disappointed."

I was hoping they'd get Anderson to reboot the Terminator series.

When we were in Target the other day, my son said, "Hey, is that John Beaver?"

(4am delete whimsy. Don't mind me….)

Would he accept a raccoon?

"You can have a tape made any day but Tuesday!"

I used to love Gamma World.

Your world must not contain "We Built This City."

My husband is a smartphone engineer and this doesn't sound anything like the stories he tells me from his day at work.

Yes, yes, yes! Please?

Even though I knew the link was going to go to the bag dance, I was holding out hope that it would just go to a picture of his awesome Hunger Games facial hair.

My kids have recently discovered Mythbusters and in a recent car trip, they passed their time in the backseat debating who the best Mythbuster was. Then they asked me.

Miles O'Keefe is not available?

DON'T GET ME FUCKING STARTED ABOUT RAINBOW FISH

Wayne Enterprise satellites for everyone!

Every few months, someone on my Facebook feed posts that stupid aphorism about how 20 years from now you'll be more upset about the shit you didn't do than the stuff you did … And I'm always thinking, no, I'm about that age where that is 100% most assuredly *not* true. Check back with me again in another 20 years,…

Ha, ha — you totally had me going until you said "Livejournal." Well played, Heller. Well played.