I've been to clubs several times, where I was always seen as the freak because I didn't find the women hot and hated the idea of them acting like they found me attractive so I'd buy a dance or two.

http://www.thesmokinggun.co…

No worse than Juno…didn't they have some joke about shooting Chinese babies out of the T-shirt guns they have at concerts and sporting events?

If you're passing out Little Red Books, my imaginary daughter likes "The Poky Little Puppy."

What's pathetic is that while I didn't quite recall the singer of the song (Mark something?), I instantly remembered that the DuckTales songs were written by Michael and Patty Silversher (I think…confirming this with an Internet search would be cheating).

He had to split.

This movie made me realize that if I were ever a stripper, I'd do it to Leonard Cohen.

What about "In a time of chimpanzees, I was a monkey"?

"I'm sorry I called you a meatloaf, Jack."

Bye bye belt!

All fast food pricing is based on upsizing. Just the other day I went to Wendy's and you could get a half-pounder instead of a quarter-pounder for 90 cents more, and a three-quarter-pounder for another buck. I made myself order the quarter-pounder while telling myself that I was not being a fool since I didn't want…

Bet your fur.

A few years ago, I emailed Leonard Maltin about his appearance in Gremlins 2 and he sent me a very nice response. It turned out that he really did hate the first Gremlins film, and that he felt it hurt his friendship with Joe Dante, but Dante called him up when making the sequel and asked him to come shoot the cameo…

No, not at all. Spaceballs had a parody of the Star Wars main title (with laser sound FX), Meatballs has maybe one or two score cues that are short and fairly quiet.

According to the Internet, our President is named Obummer or Obowelmovement. Or Bathhouse Barry.

Maybe the best way to deter talkers at movies is to wheel out a pissed-off, ultra-sarcastic Christian Bale to scream at them for a minute or two.

I rarely go to movies anymore, but I've noticed that it's now okay to hold cell phone conversations in public libraries, and it's also okay to sing/rap/dance along with the music you're listening to on YouTube when on the computers.

I think it's 852x480p.

"Hey, look, it's Corky!"

For a 42" plasma? Understand that I'm not used to buying this stuff.