Class-song-remembering-sneerers sit at the back of the classroom/smoke behind the gym/bring up the back of this thread.

You guys actually know what your class song was? Wow. That's amazing.

It's a punctuation joke. Don't worry, Dark Passenger. At least I got it!

This thread approaches genius.

Definitely agreed there. I'd actually forgotten he opened his presentation with some singing. He was by turns charming and sober but didn't bring a sense of false gravitas the way Tom Hanks did. I'd love to see Spacey do a low-key, avuncular Oscars show that's no more than 2 hours long. With a couple of dance…

Kevin Spacey impresed me…
His delivery is so smooth and assured. I enjoyed Russell Brand and Helen Mirren. Josh Brolin and Javier Bardem and Matthew McConaughey and Scarlett Johansson had more chemistry than James Franco and Anne Hathaway and either of those pairs might have been more fun as hosts. Although I…

Charlie Sheen doesn't quit for 48 SECONDS. Charlie Sheen doesn't quit EVER. Wouldn't you love to know what he's up to right now?

Sean O'Neal is also the voice of the BBC Radio newscast…
As far as I know. Anyway, congratulations you two! I hope your cubicles or offices or wherever Onion AV Club people do their various things were decorated with congratulatory silver Mylar balloons with colorful ribbons curling from them when you arrived at…

My first time smoking marijuana was like Lindsay's too, except we were behind a sand dune at the beach instead of in a basement rumpus/band room. Ok, so it was marginally like Lindsay's. I just wanted to be cool in the same way she wanted to, ok? Why can't you give me some space, man?

It probably didn't help her any that the guy playing opposite her was going for over the top buffoon. Sorry, I don't know his name because I don't watch SNL all that often.

I don't know about that.

I agree with Lux. That's one of the things I like about Natalie Portman and why I can't ever really be down on her. Acting is obviously something she takes very seriously and puts a lot of effort into, especially when she's working with a great director and other acclaimed actors.

Now I'm wondering if this were anyone other than Natalie Portman would we even be having this discussion? I like all those actors I mentioned including her, but this is something I'd rather talk about dispassionately because I don't see any reason to get too worked up about it. It's not like I could emote believably…

Thanks for reading this anyway, 4Chan. I feel the exact same way about football and people who talk about sports in general, but that's why I don't go around reading about football articles and posting angry comments about them.

Next up: Star Wars vs. the Sparkly Space Vampires!

So that's one vote for Val Kilmer and one vote for doodles. Democracy works!

Grrr! "Edge OFF." The funny thing about that "Natalie Raps" video— which I didn't think was actually funny at all— was how awkward and unnatural she seemed during the interview phase where she was playing herself and how free and wonderful she was screaming her head off in the rap parts. If she went for a part and…

I think she's incredibly intelligent…
But I agree that she never seems affectless in her roles. I remember reading a review about a movie with Winona Ryder where the critic said you can always see her technique. I feel the same way about Natalie. She seems to have a very cerebral approach to acting, one where you…

Actually, let's do the democratic thing and put this to a vote. All those in favor of Tom Cruise and Will Smith fighting robots while touching dicks, raise your hands.

If that's what you want, I will raise no objections.