Is it still creepy to be attracted to a 16-year-old even if she's taller than me?

Nothing comes after Z

You want awkward? A 17-year-old girl died in tragic car accident in my redneck town when I was growing up. Her mom had them play the Bridal Chorus as they were rolling the coffin out of the church because she was "getting married to Jesus."

The one on the left looks 40

I wish they'd get Saget to host and he did a 15-minute monologue of nothing but filthy, dirty Taylor Swift jokes.

I have a confession to make: I'm always the asshole not wearing a jacket and saying it isn't that cold. I don't know why I do it. I know it is annoying but I can't help it. It's truly a sickness.

If I fapped to Tangled, will I be able to fap to this?

Hey! Hey! Come on! Come on! I haven’t seen it yet.

This is just going to have to be one of this situations where you and the 7 billion other inhabitants of earth will have to agree to disagree.

I used his paperweight joke at the office and made the cute secretary laugh.

I'm amazed by the continuing Seinfeld references.

I almost got detained by the TSA for laughing like a crazy person at this list in the airport one year.

The Copulatory Act
Morbidly Obese

Olive Garden's attorneys called several of her ex-boyfriends to the stand and showed she ate semen all the time and it was no big deal. The judge allowed the line of questioning, holding that rape shield laws don't apply to pasta.

But they kept the incest right? I sure hope so.

I wasn't amazed to see this here. Taste Test has been going on for a while. Also, the glory days of The Hater featured a bunch of this kind of stuff. It broadly fits under pop culture. I'll be alarmed if they start talking about new lawnmowers.

That's why they just have big microwaves.

A girl I know is a waitress at Olive Garden. She says she is frequently asked why they don't have nachos.

Well according to Cosmopolitan Magazine, you are supposed to put whipped cream on genitals before you eat them, so maybe.

If you are a dying cancer patient, why are you going home at the last minute for Thanksgiving to be with your loved ones one last time? Why not just move the fuck home to be with your loved ones permanently? Who has one last Thanksgiving on her bucket list anyway? The mother from The Corrections?