Ahem…
SUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I dreamed about killing you again last night.

From my friend Derek:
"Today we pay tribute to the man who gave us Beat It, and the woman who taught me how to."

SHIT!!
ALRIGHT?

I prefer Chock Full O' Notes myself.

Not to brag (I'm totally bragging), but I consider myself somewhat of a connoisseur (I had to look up how to spell that) when it comes to stand-up comedy and I only like a handful of standups: Zach Galifianakis, Louis CK, Paul F. Tompkins, Mitch…

Does anyone
recommend any debuts sophomore albums from new artists? Passion Pit is the only "new" band that I've liked so far this year.

It's never too soon for decade lists!

And Middle Cyclone might crack the top ten too, almost forgot.

Mine would be something like:

Also he was on "Between Two Ferns", which was awesome.

It'll be fun! We will be like Tracy and Hepburn. "What do ya say, you old poop?"

Having….trouble…..breathing…..that's…..like…..my…..(cough)…….fantasy…..(sputter)……..lineup…(weez). AWESOMMMMMEeEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That ep. with Paul Simon and Steve Martin though, sheesh! I didn't think that a person could be that awkward/kiss-ass as Fallon was to both of them. I would have much preferred just watching Paul Simon interviewing Steve Martin or vice versa. It would have been a lot less painful to watch.

I think it might feel shorter because his monologue is longer. There must be some rule somewhere that all Tonight Show monologues must be 15-20 min. long or something. Or I could be totally wrong.

It also has lots of heaving, bountiful bosoms. Which goes well with killing Nazis, I've been told.

Three words
Eastwood. Killing. Nazis.

Attention Marge Simpson: We have just arrested your son.

WARNING! WARNING! HOOKS FLAILING WILDLY!

Carvey just redid it when he hosted SNL after leaving the show. He knew it was that good.