It can only be cured via some sort of electric cow bell.

Nah, he's got a desk for that sort of thing.

Leo-pus

Dude, we have to talk about you whole prostitute-murder thing.  People are starting to ask questions.

*Applies oil*
*Dies on the inside*

Aryan TMNT: keeping the world free from the Semitic plague since 2013

Both half shell and green skin pigmentation are symptoms of this particular form of cancer.  If you find yourself experiencing either of these things, or have been known to "do machines," please consult a physician immediately.

A toast to the marriage bed of the O'Neals.  Truly it is America's greatest factory of snark and happiness.

He agreed to be in Michael Bay's Ninja Turtles.  Isn't that reason enough to hate him?

Hodor, I've had enough of your jingoistic hate speech.

I did no such thing!  Lies! Slander and lies!

I'm having the same problem.  I'm considering an exorcism.

Fact:  all women named Pam are obese.

Hey now, WWE still has a shred of dignity left.

You have to know these sorts of things when you're a king.

OMG you guys!  He was so hawt in The Master!  Like, just SO amazing and stuff!

This may just be because I'm a sick individual, but I want nothing more than to see the movie that you have just described.

Hunger Games: Where's Poochie?

The key to every real friendship is mutual respect, love, and a shit ton of cash.

What about African Swallows?