and for the Onion, Inc.'s next trick…
after Hater, Decider, prepare yourselves for Shameless Self Promoter.

I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis.

@Fritzy… Go ask your dad.

Red haired fellas named Colin should forgo the bushy sideburns lest they be mistaken for leprechauns on the lam.

I wish Sid Vicious had lived so he could kick Green Day in the collective nards for this.

A guest shot from Dana Carvey doing the Chopping Broccoli song might've saved this sinking ship…… Nah, no it wouldn't.

Holy Shit! Just got back from a business trip. That trailer looks great! I had almost forgotten how much my brother and I loved that book.

Didn't Todd Rundgren put this concept in its grave like 20 years ago?

You Thetans are always trying to clear your engrams by supporting your heroes.

Keira Knightley vs. Natalie Portman

Eddie waited 'til he finished high school
He went to Hollywood, got a tattoo
He met a girl out there with a tattoo too
The future was wide open

I prefer the pot of puppies at the end of the rainbow.

I only visit that site for the articles.

Was there an implication in that movie that Lea Thompson screwed the duck or was going to screw the duck? Perhaps at the end? Or did my hormone addled brain at the time just insert that into my memory because it was in fact myself that desperately wanted to screw the duck… oops, I mean Lea Thompson.

Who do I have to sue to upgrade my status to "delightfully irascible"? I've been stuck at "mildly annoying" for years.

You know, it's bad karma to be cracking jokes on this slalom occasion.

It will all end in tears… and hopefully a more accurately fired hail of bullets.

You had penis infections daily? Ouch.

I believe the school's policy was actually to ban anything from Steve Martin post 1980.

Transformation
From that picture, it looks like Farina is slowly turning into Steve Zissou era Bill Murray.