And for his next brilliant PR move, he'll go blackface before going to jail.

Ironic, since he's actually an argument against evolution.

You don't need to tell us what to do with that circle.

"Australia's only got room for one Gladiator."

You didn't get to meet the bear?

The trailer with the bear singing gospel at the witness stand and the old black judge loving it ("ooooverruuuuled") … caused me physical pain.

Your show is bad and you should feel bad!

"Talk Who's Talking"
"Talking 'Talk to Her'"
"We Need to Talk About 'We Need to Talk About Kevin'"

"Talk the Line"
"Talking Ned Devine"
"Jurassic Talk"

My favorite Ballmer story is this guy describing getting fired because he didn't yell "BING!" with enough enthusiasm:

Eh, I don't think it's fair to make those assumptions about Colin. He's been in stuff I like, and he comes across as a normal dude.

The best thing that's kind of like this:
Star Wars Minus John Williams

To be forgiven, you must open your heart to Alien Jesus. Also your butt.

Yub nub?

God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates cars. Man creates dinosaurs. Dinosaurs eat man. Cars eat dinosaurs.

He wasn't wearing skinny jeans.

I remember watching those commercials and immediately identifying with the PC.

With enough patience, imagination, and friction, you can fap to anything. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Hee Haw fans are having a rough week.

8pm - Green Acres
9pm - Beavis and Butthead
10pm - Bewitched