If the head don't shine, you did the crime.

The presiding judge will be Mills Lane, and he's notoriously tough on toupee wearers.

I really want Toupee #2 to step forward so they can fight over which of them is the douchebag in question.

Two 19th Century lawyers who play by their own rules.

His cumshots are the porn equivalent of the Simpsons rake joke.

There will always be shit like Jersey Shore, but I really do think our best television has evolved qualitatively in countless ways. The budgets are higher. There are more writers in the business. There are more talented actors drawn to TV, where there used to be a stigma. The stories are more complex and have more…

Hypothetical debate between me and Jennifer Lawrence.

I brought this upon myself.

"Dated" implies that something was good for its time but has lost its potency and/or accessibility for a modern audience. There could be a lot of reasons for this beyond the quality of the storytelling. In contrast, something that's "timeless" is more easily judged on its own merits, rather than as a cultural artifact.

I've really grown to appreciate it, but back when I was wearing this album out I usually passed over the last two songs. Not rambunctious enough for young Felonious.

Mom anecdotes are always risky around here. Sometimes you take those risks for the sake of a point.

Yeah, I had to temper The Prisoner comment with that Wire addendum. Diplomacy.

Deadwood. No need to discuss.

They might say that, and they might be right. I hope TV gets that much better in the next 50 years.

I bought my mom the DVD set for her birthday, and she was shocked at how little it lived up to her memory. Said modern TV has spoiled her.

A time before titties.

And it better be the same as mine!

Some people will consider this sacrilege, but while The Twilight Zone and The Prisoner blazed the trail, they are definitely dated by today's standards. Maybe not as much as other shows, but they don't hold up like classic films.

Go away! Thetan'!

You old farts have still got it.