I must be secretly high. I think it looks good.
Seriously, dude.

One gave a pickle-tickle to the girl from TLC? Don't keep us in suspense, man! Out with it!

It's getting poor in herre, so give me all your cloabs
Hate to see a St. Louis brother drop off, but thems the breaks. Hope you saved some money for Band-aids.

Aww, come on now — you know I kid out of love. I just refuse to believe the AV crew needs to stoop to kids food to do this.

NEWSFLASH! This shit isn't for you!
I realize it's probably getting harder and harder to find crap at the local Jewel to taste-test, but seriously, Uncrustables? That shit isn't even FOR you, man. If you're not in single-digit age, you're never going to look at a box of Uncrustables and think, "Boy oh howdy…

I want to go to Brundle Fly's next family reunion.

The Best part about a new OCMS album is…
…the fact they might end up touring in my area soon. Come on out to Arizona sometime, guys.

I'm afraid the Friday the 13th series won't live up to my memories
I remember liking the show quite a bit as a kid… but I hate to drop $40 on a set of shows that won't live up to my rose-tinted view of the series.

Man, do I love Old Crow Medicine Show
If you haven't checked them out, go the hell over to YouTube and watch some of their performances. Particularly their song "Wagon Wheel" or their live cover of "The Weight," both of which are amazing.

Double-posting firstie fail. Monkey football humper.

I feel like I just hit two home runs in one inning. Except instead of baseball, it's the World Series of Retarded Comments About Jeremy Piven.

Shut up!

Orange whip? Orange whip? Orange whip?

My wife is the most good-natured woman in this entire world, with nary a bad word to say about anyone or anything… and if given half the chance she would strangle Huey Lewis with her bare hands. And not a jury in this land would convict her.

I would totally go see a "Take The Skinheads Bowling" movie.

McCain is a devil, but it's hardly a hell. If I want snow I drive up to Flagstaff, which is at 8000 feet and thus about 30-40 degrees colder at any given time.

Depending on who you believe, Piven is either a supremely class act or, conversely, a baby-eater with no soul. He's an enigma wrapped in a riddle wrapped in Rogaine advertisements.

So the proof of God's existence is in the pudding?

Depending on who you believe, Piven is either the nicest guy to ever step foot on this ball of rock and water… or an insufferable dickhole who should be raped with a Thermos.

Just Insert Your Own MC Hammer quip here and let's get it all out of our systems for fucking fuck's sake
Come on guys. Let's turn this mutha OUT.