I'm not half as disturbed by the Austin Powers thing 13 fucking years after the fact as I am that this guy's major distraction appears to be anecdotes from his high school band 18 years post graduation. I haven't seen his car but if I saw a garter hanging from his rear-view mirror I wouldn't be the least bit…

Annoying teenagers at the movies? No wai!
Come on now. Complaining about annoying teenagers ruining your good time at the movies went out with Collective Soul and hemp shirts.

With that voice Palin should dress up as Grace from "Ferris Bueller"
How long has Alaska been in Wisconsin, anyway?

And yet I hate you so fucking much.

I'll trade you, straight-up, for the guy that sits in the cubicle behind me that bitches about his job for 7 hours a day and spends the other hour either doing bad Austin Powers impressions or talking about his experiences in high school band. He is, incidentally, 36 years old.

Fired from Family Guy? Por que?

He's a lawyer now, yes? And thin.

No Britney Spears?
Not for nothing, but I cry every time "Crossroads" comes on Starz. EVERY. TIME.

Wha-huh-whaaa? JGL is playing Cobra Commander? WTF?

I'd argue there's nothing ignoble about remaining in Hollywood and there's nothing commendable about joining the ranks of the working slobs.

In the words of Jeff Spicoli as broadcast on TBS, the Superstation:

"Did I really co-star in an awful Topher Grace vehicle, or did I just dream that shit?"

You guys think you have it tough? I'm still coming to grips with the fact that the dude that played Warren in "There's Something About Mary" ISN'T retarded.

So it's fair to say none of you were responsible for the current 10% Fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes, then.

You people shut the fuck up. I like the italics. It's all CLASSY and shit.

Just so I can have some fears put to rest… tucking my farm animal between my legs and affecting a "mangina", of sorts, and then photographing myself with said mangina and putting it up on Craigslist?

I particularly dig the Errol Flynn mustache he's rocking these days.

Corrective Measures
Thanks for the review, guys. Glad to see you enjoyed the initial look at the prison itself, and I hope you stay tuned for the second half of Season One, coming in 2009. It's a fun book to write with limitless potential.

And yet nothing has been said yet about Griesedieck Beer, the least appetizing-sounding brew in memorable history.

You're the lamest character ever, Towelie.