So it's similar to the best song ever. So what's the best song ever?

I'm gonna have to go with the starwipe.

Thanks to the ad that came up next to this article when I clicked on it, it looks like Christian Slater is trying to shoot Eddie Pepitone in the head.

Thanks guy, but I already saw the ending of Carnivale thanks to a little thing called "Imagination". Martian on duck sex, toddlers performing seppuku… It had everything.

Robert Mitchum is the only man the species has produced. The rest of us are just doing our best impression.

Yakov Smirnoff and Metallica. I think that's all.

If the Emmys had a "Best Old-Timey Tits" category I would finally not have a problem with award-grubbing fare.

I won't rest easy until I know what he was eating and what color socks he was wearing when he did his first rewrite.

No. It's when she holds up that paper that says UNION.

I saw this. I've seen a lot of stuff I don't remember.

Then what's the point?

"Is this your Cardellini?" HAHAHA! I'm going to die alone!

I haven't seen 5 but based on what I've heard I'll assume my rankings match yours exactly. The by-the-numbers feel of 2 would've been bad enough, but the fact that the villain is absolutely zero fun just wrecks it.

Like Hugh Grant in Mickey Blue Eyes! Hilarious stuff, ElDan!

Mind you, I'm not much of a Mr. Reader Guy, but I did read Donnie Brasco and found it thoroughly boring. It was only after seeing the movie that I realized there was an interesting story there.

Before they became (ugh) Johnny Depp and (groan) Al Pacino.

I'm going to assume going 3, 1 was a mistake. We're not talking Police Academy and its sequels. This is freaking DIE HARD.

I remember liking it upon initial viewing, but now that I've learned what Len Wiseman is…

Albeit still a reasonable amount.

Blame the men who raised us.