As a white male who has been passed over for promotion TWICE, no one is more qualified to comment on soul music than I. Me and the other fellows in my band, Upper Middle Class Misery, do a rendition of A Change is Gonna Come that all you consumer trash can't possibly relate to.

I call him 4 Bits.

Racist!

If it wasn't for commenting on the AV Club I'd be dead or in jail.

This movie made me long for a simpler time when pilots were cool and you could call female flight attendants by their appropriate title: Air snatch.

Well you've heard of him. That's all he ever really wanted.

"Foo-bots, Grohl out!" From my upcoming movie 'Nonsense I Posted on the AV Club'

Don't forget about Amistad. Spielberg owns that genre.

Most of us had the spirit choked out of us by life. You were just born without it.

He wasn't even a real captain! And I'm pretty sure he wasn't even a kangaroo.

As I sit beside my niece watching the shit that Disney pumps through their shit factory and into kids' eyes and ears, I long for the days when shows like this existed as I mime various forms of suicide.

It's hard to argue against the advance of homogeneousness when you look at the guy in this article's picture. We should all be so remarkably flawless.

I think you can actually get away with skipping the first 2 seasons of Fringe. 1 and 2 might help you catch little Easter eggs, but you won't be missing anything integral to the characters or stories.

I think we should just destroy all pop-culture and start over. This vast orgy of options just gives me a headache.

Yeah. It's the same reason that dragon did Eragon.

I've got something you can handle tonight. (I'm just here to crap on sincerity.)

Thanks for the spoiler alert, asshole!

I want to leave a comment that will please everyone, but I need to do some focus grouping first.

So did Depp ruin Burton or Burton ruin Depp? Or did a bazillion dollars ruin them both? It's one for the ages.

You've gotten lazy. I like your older posts way better.