I'm huffing paint with my hamsters. Is that close enough?

I'm still new to the AV Club and for the life of me I can't figure out when I'm being insulted in a good-natured way or a hostile way. Insincerity goes hand in hand with being sentient these days, so at the end of your hurtful words please include an irony-free translation of your message. Thank you. I love you all.

Converse with fancy dresses?! An award that isn't positioned correctly?! Who says ladies can't be funny?

Yeah, as with everything, it's a problem with those who produce and those who consume. "Why would I want to see a classic in a new way when I can watch this week's over-hyped actor slaughter CGI witches?"

Yeah, that's the one. That's my favorite moment in a movie that's loaded with moments I love.

Could that be a new job in today's ailing job market? Sentient pet? I'll send you my resume.

It's the movies that got old.

Much agree. It nicely avoids the extra 30 minutes of unfunny too many comedies have these days. And, yeah, there are crazy situations in it, but by and large the comedy comes from the interplay between the actors. Those character moments are the backbone of good comedy for me. Not whatever antics happen on a toilet or…

I guess no one wanted to be the guy who said "Over the Rainbow". Anyway, my favorite musical moment in a film actually takes place in Shawshank Redemption. I know a lot of people have a hatred of that movie I don't get, but even the intellectually and emotionally cynical have to acknowledge the power of that scene.

I like when they get into a shoot-out over Ulee's gold.

I really liked the musical sequence in my favorite play: "Mumford & Sons Concert".

Can't they just re-release older movies with good reputations in January and February? I'd rather have a chance to check out Jaws on the big screen than shrug my shoulders and say "Well, let's see if that director with the cartoonishly foreign name managed to polish a turd to my satisfaction." Nevertheless, can't wait…

They should just rename it the Sandler at this point.

I prefer his adult film equivalent: Bill Manpull. (I'm new here. I'm still forcing it a little)

"I've been in this business since you were at your momma's teet, Spanky. And let me tell you, if there's one thing that spells box office disaster, it's the letter e. Not in my damn title, Junior. Never in my title…"

My entire experience with this podcast involves listening to one where Maron discussed a friend of mine who is a stand-up comedian and drove him around Oklahoma City when he did a show here. I just can't get into podcasts for whatever reason. Even people I'm into, I can't muster the desire to turn the crank on my…

Well, in the case of Idiocracy, I'd say about negative ten years into the future.

Tell me about it. Noel's article suggests that he's into himself almost as much as people who leave five-paragraph long comments in response to those articles.

Since Tarantino's trend seems to be going further and further back in time, I'm guessing his next movie will involve Native Americans going sickhouse on Miles Standish.

Call me when you do the exact same list on gynecology. I'm pretty sure you can just reuse that Steve Martin picture.