The word "teenage" makes it sound like one of those movies from the fifties, when the concept of teenagers was new and therefore ideal for fearmongering, and they would throw "teenage" into titles like it was "vampire" or "Nazi."

I can't do this all on my own, no I'm no, I'm no Supertrain

Hell's bells, Trudy!

They thought it was a regular tortoise, but closer.

I think the patheticness is key. Even after you don't exactly feel sorry for him anymore, you still don't want bad things to happen to him, because the ensuing trainwreck as he fails to deal with it is just too painful to witness. It's not a matter of the victim having your sympathy or not — you just don't want a…

The Man Punching Piers Morgan in the Background of Every Lincoln-Douglas Debate

Jeremy Clarkson is the British citizen least qualified to make fun of America.

Timothy Oliphant as Taft.

Did anyone see that movie, The Conspirator or something, about Mary Surratt (the lady who owned the house where John Wilkes Booth and his buddies plotted to kill Lincoln)? I just watched it with my dad the other night. I thought it was pretty awful, but it did yield the interesting information that had he been born on…

"Spider-snake eyes, spider-snake eyes…" *rolls two fives* "YES!"

The thing is that it's hard to carry off an air of careless unorthodoxy when you've interrupted a conversation you weren't involved in to make a preemptive declaration that if any of its participants should start trying to patronize you, you won't stand for it. That's more in the "obsessive, thin-skinned and paranoid"…

My favorite ever Mornington Crescent moment, courtesy of Raymond Baxter commentating on the 30th anniversary special game: "Baker Street! Ah, we haven't seen that move attempted since Gustav Penegaris defended his title in 1959. Ironic, really."

TROUBLING LACK OF MORNINGTON CRESCENT.

Yes. The rest of that movie could have been conceived and written by fourteen-year-old boys, and yet, there's Willem Dafoe.

The Patriot is so similar to Braveheart that it caused me to start to wonder what makes Mel Gibson tick… and a few years later it all made sense.

I was all set to leave a comment about Gladiator, and then I realized I couldn't think of a scene in it I liked.

I watched that movie because there was nothing else on TV and was pleasantly surprised by it. It is just a formula romantic comedy, but it's about as good as a formula romantic comedy can be. It is — how you say? — cute.

Much better gameshow idea: Salmon Portland Chase. Contestants race trained salmon through freezing Pacific waters in pursuit of a laminated $10,000 bill.

But how do you explain Oprah's involvement? CHECKMATE

The worst argument I ever heard for the "prosperity gospel" or the "law of attraction" was a radio interview I listened to on some Doctor Who fansite, where the lady was trying to convince David Tennant that it was true on the basis that he'd gotten to play the Doctor after wanting to for as long as he could remember.…