I was thinking the exact thing except I would BE Phil Dunphy and have the hottest wife. The hottest. Because I'm practically Phil Dunphy anyway.

It's like poetry; it rhymes.

This film was the reason I got a Netflix account many moons ago. Couldn't find it to rent and didn't quite want to buy it.

Poor man's Nestle Crunch . . .

That's pretty good advice for . . . most things.

It really is a terrible book.

I laughed too fucking hard at this.

No, you're absolutely right.

I saw Wallace Shawn speak and read poetry a couple of years ago and, yes, he is an incredibly private person. He also makes you feel very small and stupid - not on purpose - but because every word that comes out of his mouth is so carefully chosen and placed. And thoughtful. It was an intense evening.

It's important to remember that. The first movie was goofy in a straightforward way, due mostly to budget and the sheer weirdness of the demons. It wasn't until Part 2 that the comedy took over.

I still answer questions that way.

"Little Shop" is the reason I got into acting and remains one of my favorite movies of all time. It's the earnestness of the performances that really makes it work. Ashman says in his director's notes to the published script that the show only works if it's played honestly and not for camp.

I was a nonessential Jet in my High School Production of West Side Story! Nonessential Jets repreSENT!

The Alex Cross review killed me. I had to stop listening to it, because I kept laughing out loud in the gym (which is a sure way to get yourself killed at Snap Fitness let me tell you). But, when Dan announced Krang With Boobs, I was done. Just done. I had to stop and sit there.

Slow down, buddy.

I just buy the magazine and cut the pages into strips, tape them together and wrap them around an old wheat drum. Then I have my kid crank it around real slow like while I watch the teevee. He's weak armed so it takes a while. A long while, some nights.

*Me sitting down in the theater on opening weekend*
"This is going to be awesome."
*Five minutes later*
"This is going to be a long two hours."

I also had a coach who went by Dick Holder. He died of cancer.

And Will Nelson is just awkward. I saw an interview with Billy Joel once where he explained that he hates the name "Billy" but "William Joel" sounds pretentious and "Bill Joel" sounds ridiculous.

I went to high school in Texas. I'm quite sure we had many a Jefferson Davis.