I think I've slept with Jump to Conclusions Mat. He was not very good.

They sold Michelle into slavery to pay off the mortgage. Boom, mystery's solved.

I think Rebel Wilson isn't overweight as much as she is courageous, just like Lena Dunham.

I'm here for the Roseanne reboot starring Melissa McCarthy, the only overweight woman in Hollywood.

They're already talking about rebooting Game of Thrones, haven't you heard?

Image. I said image. I'm sure she's a perfectly lovely, intelligent person, who is sadly playing into a stereotype to get paid. That's her business, but I don't have to approve.

We didn't want this, but we probably deserve it.

Roseanne, probably.

No one deserves that.

Julia and Bryan are friends, though. She was probably picked for this reason. I don't think she was disappointed, she just has troubles getting excited when things aren't about her.

Did Bacon look like a fried piece of McConaughey?

Yeah, sure, but I'm talking about Sofia's entire image. She's basically Gloria. It irks me. Just look at the ladies of Devious Maids, Eva Longoria, J.Lo, Shakira, Latinas, all sexy as hell, but there's a lot more to them, both on stage and off of it. This is clearly a Sofia problem. She just doesn't seem to be…

Ugh, Frasier is such an exquisite series. The thought of Modern Family surpassing it proves that the Emmys are utter bullshit.

Jim is fantastic. The material he gets, however…

I'm so sick of her playing up that dumb sexy Latina persona. I'm sure she's completely different offstage and it pisses me off.

And the world is not surprised.

This isn't the part where she breaks free.

I'm talking about the level of enthusiasm and energy. And that sparkle in the eyes. Everything about Grande tells me she doesn't really want this.

Bless your heart.

Grande seems to be having fun? She looks bored and miserable. She's a Femme Fatale Britney while she really should be more of a …Baby One More Time Britney at this point in her career.