I had a date last night after a week of online messages, then text messages. Let's just say at the end of the night we simultaneously quoted Futurama and then made out like a couple of teenagers. So I'm pretty happy today.

I have 5 tattoos. All with some kind of pop culture reference. 1 Futurama, 2 Simpsons, 1 GI Joe, 1 Firefly. I feel like the AV Club is a safe place to share that.

Batdance.

Born and raised in NYC, so these will not be that exciting…

Westchester and everything north is upstate. That's one of my most egocentric beliefs, but it's also 100% true.

I think Matt Weiner would go apeshit if that ever happened. Damn you, Vince Gilligan, for being so nice! Groening will do anything for a buck so I can't really get mad there.

I totally know what you mean, but that specific problem sounds good. I'd like to meet a girl who doesn't drink but it's because she's just like not into it. Everyone in recovery is kind of nuts (and 13th stepping is just the creepiest shit ever). Obviously, if you drink it's not really a positive.

That light on my dashboard went on indicating that my tire pressure is below a certain number (80%?) How long can I dilly-dally before this causes me to die in a horrific car accident?

Walt does wear sneakers… for sneaking…

Eat up Martha.

Does that mean it's okay to have sex with 99 guys a night? Asking for a friend.

The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer… and I'm shocked to discover that it had more than one episode. I guess the pilot?

When you're a hammer, every problem looks like a nail.
 
That said, maybe Dan should get replacements who are experts in some kind of sex-related field rather than politics. (Yes, I know that politics and sex can be intertwined, but then they should have picked a letter that dealt with that.)

I'm shocked it took this long for someone to mention Future Stock. I guess I could see how it's not the best introduction to the show, but that episode never fails to crack me up.
 
Favorite subplot for an otherwise decent episode: In "30% Iron Chef" when Zoidberg breaks the ship in a bottle.

J-E-T-S JETS JETS JE… aw fuck it, just kill me now.

@avclub-0dc58c8b977e3911dc82d204d424551a:disqus Schoolteachers are constantly surrounded by disgusting, verminous children. So if they can MacGyver some shit that allows to keep them healthy, that's useful in theory. In theory, communism works. In theory.

Thanks. My family actually goes there every summer so I know what I'm going to do - sit around on the beach, maybe play golf terribly. That's about it. Just thought it was strange that someone else was going there.

Racist.

Weird, I'm going to Rhode Island this weekend as well. Although evidently Taylor Swift is on tour, so my plan to stalk her for 4 days until she writes a song about me has gone up in flames.

Obviously, Turk Turkleton is the best. But Turk Enjyaydee is pretty good, too.