@avclub-7a5a3fe4ae33de425d06ac4fe8d097d2:disqus  Don't stop yet! 
*reaching for hand lotion*

@avclub-7a5a3fe4ae33de425d06ac4fe8d097d2:disqus Especially when you're having your own vocalizations to worry about, right?  My kind of gal….

@LiberalCollegeFreshman:disqus  @avclub-bca3531762af8a993c4f60c48fd5e33b:disqus  The names do get pretty ridiculous here—the closer you get to Minnesota, the more you get towns named things like Fond a Ballsacs, La Grande Vulvae, and Big Fucking Cock, Wisconsin.

Damn, that's extra funny because I was working at the Milwaukee County Zoo when they debuted their bonobo exhibit ("exhibit" being a gross understatement).  We often joked that the people too repressed to give their kids the "facts of life" lecture ought to just sit them down in front of the bonobos for an hour and…

@avclub-62812d8eb06386505986efff8b5e43ac:disqus preaching to the choir here, brother, but amen.

(hee hee…"thrust"….)

Yeah, but sadly, most women aren't as cool as you are.  Props to you.

…And it sounded exactly the same every time, right?  Sometimes I wonder if people watch porn and tell themselves, "Oh, THAT'S how I'm supposed to do it."

@avclub-64ad8f3af92ef8d9a1c7dfd7265e577d:disqus Oh, right!  Silly Americans.  I remember the first time I heard Graham Norton making a "bender" joke, it took a minute for the light to go on.

@avclub-c701a997d9bef627835b036efb4eca63:disqus Okay, I'm not a lesbian, and I didn't know that either.  Extraneous noise during sex can be awfully distracting.  It can become sensory overload, a sensation I would much rather enjoy in its tactile sense.  When women yell, "Fuck me!  Fuck me!", my brain tells itself,…

@persia2:disqus That, and because he wants back with her, he's probably done what all of us clueless guys have tried to do in this situation—guess the right answer.  
I wonder though—if they split up, remaining platonic friends, was there the expectation that neither should fuck anyone else?  If she's asking because,…

There, there, @avclub-7a5a3fe4ae33de425d06ac4fe8d097d2:disqus , 
*internet hug*
It's okay, we want to know—we care!  You can tell us anything!  Just make sure you don't leave out any details.  
Oh, and tell us reeeeallll sloooowwwwwwly……..

Why is she in the other room?

Wait; there's an "instead"…?

Sober on purpose?  Good for you; that's not easy to do.  
It's weird; I always feel pretty good about things—even shitty days—when I've had a few, but even moderate usage anymore really affects me poorly the next day. I saw an old wagon the other day; I'm thinking about fixing it up, giving it a paint job, then getting…

@avclub-3db41011acc2d229176bf6a92202728d:disqus , this entire response should follow  "The AV Club: [what it is]" in that meme.  It's brilliant.  Well done, indeed!

Dear Savage Dik,

@avclub-7a5a3fe4ae33de425d06ac4fe8d097d2:disqus

Bwaaahahahhahaahahaaaaaaaa!!  (Hey!  shhhhh…. Stop it, @avclub-7a5a3fe4ae33de425d06ac4fe8d097d2:disqus !  We're gonna get in trouble!)

@avclub-7a5a3fe4ae33de425d06ac4fe8d097d2:disqus 
That. Is. AWESOME.