…And Dawes is just Lars Ulrich's elaborately constructed alter-ego.

If I might just use this space to say "Fuck Liturgy."  That is all.

I think that is the exact phrase my wife used when she heard Liturgy.  I agree with both of you.

How do you listen to metal without bongs and shit?  (Joking.)  BTW, I've listened to that Absu album probably 20 or so times since it came out, and my god does it ever keep on delivering.  It's been a long time since I heard an album with performances that furious and that precise.  Plus I think the songs are great. …

Arsenio: you are correct.  The thing that makes Liturgy so puzzling to me is the dude's
constant refrain that his "transcendental black metal" is
artistically/musically/intellectually(?) distinct from and/or superior
to "hyperborean" black metal (his own term!) because the latter
is negative, whereas the former is…

The degree of ignorance about literature/narrative betrayed in this post is telling.  Not that you had to do anything but look at the absence of punctuation and tenuous grasp on English syntax to get the same effect, but still.

I was really glad that he at least thinks the AV Club has somewhere between zero and nil credibility.  Acknowledging that there are subtle shades of nothing when it comes to "credibility" = surefire sign of an agile mind. 

Napst—shit, someone got there before me. 

Granny porn falls in the "your mom" category.

This bears mentioning: I'm not bitter at Mormonism for what I missed out on because of it; that's just the cherry on top.  I had sex when I was in my late teens and decided I didn't want to go on a mission.   Even though I ended up marrying the woman I first had sex with years down the line, I felt guilty that I had…

Dude, they're called companions.  Missionary partners are the people gay missionaries sneak off to have sex with.

No, just dreams wherein I felt an enormous sense of bereavement while suspended in absolute darkness.

"I'm Brandon, and the social conditioning I experienced as a youth has been particularly effective in keeping me from leaving this (especially) stupid, crazy, demonstrably harmful faith."

Or at least half as sinewy; nobody likes a plump trainer.  It would strike me as…unseemly.

@avclub-16db446cafb1ffb1466e71eaf97a4f49:disqus East of Provo is quite nice, actually.  Westward lies a quite unexpected dystopia.

Zing!

The reason the Mormons settled there is because they would probably have died had they tried to go any further.

Yeah, the Graveyard record is a beast.  Makes me sad I'm at work where I can't roast a joint and have a couple beers.  Fuck it, I'll just close my
door and do it anyway.

That's how I like it.  (But again, great column regardless of individual preferences.)

Sorry, I was pretty unclear; I meant the best stuff (to me) covered this month is on the punky side and not much of the metal was up my alley. It's just personal taste.