"Yeah, also I think it should be legal to shoot black people."

Well, it seems we have our first caller, and I mean ever, because this is NOT a call-in show!

WHO WILL BE FALLOUT BOY?

Guns are for protection, killing dangerous or delicious animals, or keeping the King of England out of your face!

…AND TIES?

I had no idea that the whole e'rybody going nuts thing near the end was a play on It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World until I saw part of it on TCM one night and thought, "Why would I continue to watch this?"

"So you get off the interstate, then take a left— A LEFT…"

Some surprisingly spot-on Beat poet piss-taking there.

"Now, crime is down 2%, but heavy sack beatings are up a shocking 900%."

Finally, Brian Williams' mom can go back to her regular viewing habits.

…my skull just caved in.

So, what you're saying is, Scott Stapp is the very model of an American Christian?

In his defense, he does say it twice. Wait…

Eh, his verses are dumb, but at least they're fun-dumb now.

Nas, Drake, The Roots and that Rick Ross album (yeah, it's really uneven, but the good songs are pretty solid) leaves the majority of those choices as pretty fucking good.

Nah, you're thinking of the Quran. The Bible just says a wife should submit to her husband.

counterpoint: That Rick Ross song is the shit.

Murray, in this case, that actually would be funny.

YOU SUCK, MCBAIN!

NO THERE WASN'T ITS SERIOUS