I'd say no way, he'll be in a Boston uniform, but it'll probably be some weird-ass team like Detroit or Philly that suddenly decides they need to shell out $200 million for… well, one of the objective best pitchers in baseball.

As an M's fan, you must not feel many good feelings.

Come on, Brian Wilson…

We're going to the *ballet*.

He could have told them the number?

IMHO has been around that long?

DON'T ban this gimmick account.

And Goddamn, that scene with Mr. Burns wearing a robe and slippers while talking on the phone slays me to no end.

Lionel Hutz, AKA Miguel Sanchez, AKA Dr. Nguyen van Faulk…

Probably too torn up about Charles Durning's death.

Probably too torn up about Charles Durning's death.

Yup. Reading that, I genuinely feel like I have done nothing and will do nothing with my life.

Yup. Reading that, I genuinely feel like I have done nothing and will do nothing with my life.

"Durning, who died Christmas Eve, played Santa Claus five different times."

"Durning, who died Christmas Eve, played Santa Claus five different times."

Would that be surprising? I'm a severe narcissist.

Would that be surprising? I'm a severe narcissist.

The mark of a great character actor: The "Hey! It's that guy! Awesome!" Effect whenever you see him in something.

The mark of a great character actor: The "Hey! It's that guy! Awesome!" Effect whenever you see him in something.

Pretty sure that's THE military career.