It's my understanding that once all the air has been breathed and water has been drunk, that's it forever.

If you think children don't releases gases, I don't think you've ever met a child.

Why would I read it and watch Transformers? Do they like sync up or something like Rudolph and White Room by Cream?

COOOWAAARRRRDDDSS!!!

Much as with cologne, I often wear more shoes than I really need.

I like to imagine Jay Z sitting hunched over a small desk with a banker's lamp, poring over a massive scroll containing all 3200 names in a long list. Beyonce walks by and accidentally bumps the desk, causing the entire scroll to unfurl across the floor, past a sleeping dog, and finally petering out to show the very…

Why is James Brown chasing Paul Dano?

I heard the movie employs a framing device around Brown's filming of "Livin' in America" for Rocky IV.

Forget it, Jake, it's Chinatown.

Whatchoo talkin' bout Willis?

Are the directors in the dungeon too?

I already haven't!

Yeah Derek Jeter, that was the one with REM I think…was actually pretty good.

Sadly, no non-actor can ever surpass Joe Montana. That's true for life in general.

That's how reggae was invented.

Is there some sort of secret celebrity directory where they just know when other famous people are in town? How do you find the time during which these people are all in the same city at the same time with nothing else to do?

That's Johnny Knoxville's real grandson.

"You don't want to just make remakes when you're doing a thing, unless it's worthy of being a remake,"

Leave your stupid comments in your pocket!

No Elmer Fudd? Things sure have changed.