I'm working on my own documentary about a group of 18th century French Canadians who invented a new method of curing fish. I call it Trapper Kippers.

What about three Jewish transvestites?

Oh man I just thought last night I hope someone references Radiohead's Kid A soon so I can be like, "I hear they're working on a sequel album called nd Play."

I saw that out of the corner of my eye as "garbage eggs." That's it.

Is that a very blurry Karl Pilkington in the background?

* licks turtle, throws it at ceiling *

Your last name is a month? Wait…are you Jerry January, the fab freak of the Sunset Strip? Is that even a thing?

Blah blah blah, he's all like rock'n'roll this and neutrinos that. Get a real job, hippie!

I thought it was a collection of bluegrass standards sung by French Stewart.

Chester Bennington, a daredevil zeppelin pilot raised on the mean streets of Greenwich, Connecticut.

Wait, this isn't a review of the Canadian version of Gilmore Girls?

Probably just some looky-loo.

You're right, they should be one word: Disqellence!

Yeah I don't get that; it's like you're at an awards event for Top 40 music and you boo the guy who is essentially Top 40 disposable pop in human form.

I was saying "Boo-ieber".

Definitely agree; Kickstarter isn't a pre-order emporium, it's a charity. I don't expect the Salvation Army guy to blow me just because I throw a quarter into his bucket. He'll do it because he wants to.

I just decided - you're both in my prison! Game, set…Cumberbatch!

I wish there was some sort of Kickstarter crossed with that Justin Timberlake sci-fi movie where people could donate hours and seconds to my life, because I don't need money for my projects *polishes monocle* I need the time.

That guy who killed his wife back about ten years ago? I don't like him either!

When they cut back to the kids at the end of the story they should all be like 10 years older with long white beards.