Coming to you a year from the future, the fourth season episode that just aired closed on Carol's new boss, a lesbian named Helen Bash, kissing her, following a scene talking about Carol's propensity for work relationships involving power.

"Woo-hoo! Four day weekend!"

The smart money is on The Contest, but I wouldn't be surprised if The Marine Biologist overtakes it. That speech of George's, with Kramer's button… it's just perfection.

Tomorrow: Remedial Chaos Theory or Modern Warfare?

Don't you mean Topher "Hey is that Topher Grace? What's he doing in Interstellar? Well, that's mildly distracting" Grace?

You have what I like to call "the wrong attitude."

You have the right attitude.

Yeah, he really got Jewish-personed out of that one.

I should have saved more money.
— Future-day, ~40 year old HelloNewman

If you haven't seen the original Jurassic Park then you're only depriving yourself of the greatest movie ever made.
— 9 year old HelloNewman

Mail… Cr…rimp?

What needs to happen to get the word "butthurt" banished from the vocabulary of adult humans with brains?

It's a tiny one, but one line that always sticks out in my head is Colbert referring to the "lame stream media" as the "blame scream screedia" (which he then followed with the word "Trademarked!")

Yeah, I was ridiculously stoned at the time and I hated that movie.

lol, I had never seen that article before. Fantastic.

What a fantastic video. Michel Gondry, man. I really wish he'd go back to directing music videos.

Butts Carlton

OBAMA THINKS THERE ARE 57 ARTICLES IN THE USA

"You said keep your eyes out of focus, which is misleading. You want DEEP focus… I see something that could be a spaceship. Is it round? Is it pointy?"
"No, you don't see it, and you're never going to see it! Mr. Pitt, you have to meet with the shareholders, you have to leave now. Do you hear me? Do you hear me?!"

Yeah, it's hard to believe that not that long ago NBC's Thursday night consisted of The Office, 30 Rock, Parks and Rec, and Community. How good we had it, how little we appreciated it.