Who do you think you are, Kain Carter?

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=non-di…

I am the one who stocks

After the awe-inspiring first 15 minutes I was prepared to lean over to my friend and tell him "This is the greatest movie I've ever seen." I didn't, and naturally, the movie kept going, and characters started speaking, and it got pretty bad. Laughably bad, actually, at least as far as the dialogue goes, if not the…

Good! I admit I could have Googled this myself, so thank you for the info. The most important takeaway from the whole ordeal is that now people always think twice before they tweet.

Hey, so what about the part where he tweeted out the incorrect address of George Zimmerman last year and it ended up upending an elderly couple's life? He kind of got to skate right by that, socially and legally - did he just settle with them out of court or something? It doesn't seem like anyone, in media or…

So just to be clear, anything that involves sitting at a desk (or more broadly, anything that doesn't require ongoing physical exertion) is not "real work"? We're all going to be dead eventually, so let's not split hairs on what's real work versus… what, anyway? What is the opposite of real work? Fake work? Playtime?…

Butlegeuse butlegeuse butlegeuse

Schindler's Butler

I will meet you back here on July 2, 2028, when I shall finally admit the truth! Or I'll be dead already. Yeah, probably that one.

Oh, I'm a romantic too, believe me. I just wasn't swept away by this song at all. I find love songs to be more miss than hit most of the time, in the same way that I find romantic films: They're retreading the same worn path as a thousand earlier attempts, contributing nothing new in the process. Lyrics like "I belong…

It was terrible the first time I heard it (on SNL, no less), and sadly it remains terrible today.

I loved this, because goddamn, that song is fucking terrible. What is wrong with everybody?

Sadly, if there's one thing I know about future Patton Oswalt projects, it's that we'll never get to see the AV Club's thoughts on them.

Instead of Salman he went with Bass! He just substituted one fish for another!

"It's all about money, not freedom, y'all, okay? Nothing to do with fuckin' freedom. If you think you're free, try going somewhere without fucking money." - Bill Hicks

I'm gay, and had never been to a Chick-Fil-A before last summer. They had just built a new location right near my office, and as the story broke out last summer, I remember driving past it, seeing troves of people out there for the grand opening, and shaking my head in disgust. "Those bigots!" I thought. 
My friend and…

Stick a fork in me, Jerry… I'm done.

When I was a kid, I used to think that "sugar-free" and "fat-free" labels on packaging meant that they literally gave you more sugar or fat at no additional cost. Despite my gross misreading of the word "free," I didn't know how close to the truth I was at the time.

I suppose this isn't the best time to mention what happened to Farnsworth in real life?