18. Fourth of July party. Piss-assed, blackout drunk, with some awful guy. Started out in the hottub, ended up on the floor. Other than that, I don't remember much. Had to get Plan B the next day. I will say that subsequent sober sex was less pleasurable, more painful, and far more responsible.

No way
No way is B.o.B. better than CocoRosie, which got a C plus. Noo way.

1. Amelie is officially living out my dream career path. I think I kind of…hate her.

I don't know if this makes a difference, but Jessica Simpson has veneers. They probably don't need to be cleaned as often as the real teeth she had whittled down by a dentist/fell out due to syphilis.

I don't care if he lapses into Cool Stories Bro; I still have an internet commentator crush on Robuttnik.

First R-rated movie: Starship Troopers, 7 yrs.
First drunk: 16 yrs.

Quoth Megan Ganz
"I think I have a special orifice in my body for taking in Sex & the City."

Advice to Kedollarha
You should rip off Uffie's aesthetic in addition to her music. So dress like a dirty, sweaty hipster with your tits out, because that's the only way for a white girl to sell a song about getting crunked and slutty.

I agree with the rating. The movie felt hollow and kind of soulless. I just can't like a film that uses the song "Bad Reputation." That shit is so beyond played out.

In terms of its shock value, is anything Hit Girl did in this movie more shocking than the stuff Linda Blair did in the exorcist when she was 14? Hello, crucifix in the vag?

It was sexualized because her skirt was ass-length. Come on!

grounded

I saw this movie stoned out of my mind, and having had no prior knowledge of the film, I spent most of it trying to figure out what the fuck was going on. What kind of movie was this? Why was the protagonist like an adolescent version of Steve, Miranda's working-class husband from Sex and the City? Was it wrong, was…

Backlash up in this bitch!!

Vagisil and Marlboro 27s.

I LIKE MEAT MOTHERFUCKING SANDWICHES ARE YUMMY

It's like Tommy Boy. "Ugh, I can actually hear you getting fatter."

The solution:
Falcon Punch.

The worst thing about this is that it implicitly encourages members of the Juggalo subculture to breed.

Cool Story
Bro