Intern Needed:
Must be able to clean puke, hide drugs in/near/on body, must be able to carry a 245 lb comatose man, must be a women (first preference, if male, please show up in a wig & dress), must be able to tweet from clubs, apartments, beaches, bottom of dogpiles, and race cars. Must be proficient in grenade…

BAH!
The only version of Snow White they should be making is Snow, Glass, Apples, with Bebe Neuwirth.

How can I just let you walk away
just let you leave without a trace, while I stand here taking every breath, with you, I wish I could just make you turn around, turn around and see me cry…

Oh what a world
…to be cursed by Mary Kate Olsen of all people.

And when he cries, he goes derpherherher.

Here's your Fan Fiction
It's horrifyingly boring…

Damn you, Lucas!
I will fucking end up seeing this again. And I'll probably enjoy that badass fight at the end.

They already did this
it was called Pushing Daisies.

Because:
Renee Zellweger's just that worn out.

Oh hi!
Hi Anne Hathaway's breasts! It's been…a few months? It's so good to see you guys! Now don't be strangers! Come again!

NBC:
Take it or leave it.

I'm glad
that this isn't a part of my childhood.

So
how much longer before he's caught either eating a live golden retriever, or with old ladies locked in his basement?

It's only a matter of time…
until just watching his video kills you. He's like, The Ring of entertainers.

Hell of a drug.

That's a handy way of creating a "No One Cares" Category. I wish they'd just re-title the category as "Least Loved", and end it there.

@Dr. Robuttnick: I thought the very same thing!

Wow
That's so meta I'm surprised it hasn't become a black hole of irony.

I
liked Phantom Menace. Still do. And there ain't nothin' you can do about it!

Fun Fact: As exciting as a four hour erection sounds, it's actually really awful. Things turn purple.