Seconded.

This dude
won. He totally won life.

Well,
old people aren't gonna entertain themselves.

Does no one
have the heart to tell Bono and the Edge that their score is too shitty even for Broadway?

Limp Bizket
Sounds like a euphemism for erectile dysfunction.

I'm glad
it's THE Wolverine and not A Wolverine.

Actually,
It's not that lesbians look like Justin Bieber, it's that Justin Bieber looks like a lesbian, you see.

Twilight
I fucking hate the books, and everything they stand for, and yet, the fans fascinate me. They're a special kind of desperate and delusional that no other fandom (except possibly Weezer fans) has.

I'd ask him to take off his shirt.

Wait ten years. We have a least a couple Lindsay Lohans in there.

Pants off, preferably.

I thought
this was an adaptation of the Kesha song.

He was asleep, and I was bored.

It's slightly better than, "God has a plan". I once punched someone in the face for saying that. I mean, I wanted to. I mean, I thought very nasty thoughts in their general direction…

Nathan Fillion is FINE
That is all.

IBM
is currently flipping the bird to Apple.

Mormons don't gamble. It's against their religion.

Man, I know people who have worse parents than hers, and they're going to college and making it work. And they're younger than her. Some people are just baby trainwrecks, like Lohan and Charlie Sheen, and they never get better, never grow up. Heaven help us if she ever has kids.

How about Bebe Neuwirth as Velma Kelly swinging an ice pick? I mean, the musical's called Chicago, isn't it? No? You guys don't claim that?

God's all
"Lenny! Hello!"