Pea puree
wins a third time. It seems like every season has some component that the contestants go to again and again. (See: scallops.)

I expected a reference to "Leon Pancetta".

For your book,
I sure hope you're going to the Metropolitan Opera (or better yet, Bayreuth). Talk about your strange musical subcultures.

For the record, the apotheosis of "boring on purpose" is Chapter 16 of Ulysses.

Dogma
Didn't it also have angels tearing of their wings to become not-angels? What's up with that?

"Careering",
not "careening", is what you meant in "pushing the cacao content careening past 70 percent and into the 80s and 90s".

"You just picked out
the only three things in my room that are my roommate's."

Yeah, I did a literal spit-take on "Do you respect wood, Susie?"

Wraps
Why? Not to mention, how?

Should be a navy blue turtleneck with the black coat.

The adjective
is "lesbonic". My source is Jeff from Coupling.

Uneasy lies
the head that wears a crown. Henry IV, 2, III, i.

Also
Tom's comment of "a sad bowl of food" seemed like a Patton Oswalt homage.

How has no one commented
that *three different chefs* did scallops-two-ways in the Quickfire? When will they get over this obsession with scallops?

"You know you're supposed to have that burning sensation for your Lord Jesus and not some other man."

Yes, KTEH is the only sane order. Well done there, Zack, and I look forward to the rest of the reviews.

Dr. Tobias Funke
You fail at umlauts, AV Club.

Sorry, Scott
But "fiasco" in the context of a movie review is a registered trademark of Nathan Rabin. You'll have to get permission and pay a licensing fee.

"foley effects"
Excellent subtle pun; I love it.

I'd call it Douglas Adams meets trashy "Young Adult" fiction with just a whiff of Hunter S. Thompson.