So many possibilities
What, nothing proclaiming the wearer's desire to do stuff to the female interns?

Nudar: Now that we're rich, we'll need weapons to shoot poor people.

Your poor spelling has worsened my linguistic skills, severely cramping my ability to appear professional during job interviews. You've just created poverty, thou foul sinner.

Futurama, goddammit!
C'mon, AVC, don't you know your fan base? Parker Posey guest starred in an episode of Futurama, "The Deep South." We're literally angry with rage that the interview never acknowledged that she was on Futurama. Many of your readers are Futurama fans and want Futurama acknowledgement that she…

Quoth Dave Barry:

That's mandatory in some high-use areas, by the way. You can't climb Mount Whitney in California or Mount Rainier in Washington without a generous supply of heavy-gauge blue plastic bags. Given that the alternative at high altitude is to smear it in a thin layer over a sun-struck rock, the blue bags aren't that bad.

Here's another way. It's lighter to carry, has less packaging, and tastes better.

Bug sex
A male insect's aedeagus (that's bug talk for "penis") has a scratchy, abrasive growth at the tip that scars the female's reproductive tract, rendering it unusable by other males. Thus does he ensure, or at least improve his chances of, a monopoly on the female's eggs.

As I recall, Desmond Llewellyn (Q) was in it too.

You do know…
…that Mary Carey ran for governor against Gary Coleman and Arnold, right? She promised to make lap dances tax deductible.

Good call on the ice cream
Moose Tracks is proof that God loves us.

Starscream, I was trying to thank ME's developers for bucking the pattern I was ranting about. Reading my post again, I realize I didn't actually say that. Sorry. I'm agreeing with Lemur in that the lack of closure here is (hopefully) a good thing in the long run.

Trilogies annoy me. Star Wars, the Matrix, and Halo took the cowardly pattern. SW:ANH/The Matrix/Halo had their own complete plot arcs with closure and everything. Secure in their profitability, SW:TESB/TM Reloaded/Halo 2 were disjointed expansions on the original stories that ended in cliffhangers, which were…

Something's missing…
Uh, the game is the second most important thing in the box. Of course the disc will gather dust. Is the Zapper any good?

In BioWare's defense…
…they took some pretty brave risks with this game, and they deserve credit for it. Two (2) sequels are in the works, so let's hope they work out the bumps. Until then, this one's still high on my "must get when the price drops" list.

Adapted games
The TV ads told us that this movie would blow when it wasted seconds on Olyphant's serial number. There isn't any latent symbology in the number 47, it's just a number that fans of the games are familiar with. Guess what, studio? People who haven't played the game don't care. Spider-Man 2 made its…

I've always thought that was screwed up. I mean, some M-rated games like Half-Life and BioShock have something to offer, and the "adult" content serves a purpose. This game is a digital version of poking roadkill opossums with a stick.

This whole list…
…could just be every adaptation of "The Time Machine" ever made. It's never seen an adaptation that wasn't pissing on H.G. Wells' grave.

Prose
A professor at the local college told his students that Larry Flynt got the Nobel Prize for literature. He had to explain the joke.

Dammit, the link worked when I posted it. To summarize, Red Hook and Starbucks are making coffee-flavored beer. It's a step, I guess.