No, I already have an account here.

It makes me feel really old that I used to do ecstasy at this guy's shows and now he's almost 60. Fuck.

I am technically old enough to be a grandparent. This terrifies me.

I'd just like to point out that somebody slandered me on Twitter and I created a Twitter account for the sole purpose of denying the allegations.
https://twitter.com/BoyName…

I think you're SERIOUSLY underestimating the personality cult that Trump has built up. There are whole fucktons of people, maybe 15% of the total voting population, who are loyal to Trump, not the GOP or Fox News or any other entity.

Trump is going absolutely nowhere. GOP needs his voters too much to move against him in any way.

I'm pretty sure that this whole thing will make Trump like him more, not less.

Strange but true: Ted Cruz is less than 2 years older than Alyssa Milano.

Was watching CaddyShack this weekend, and came to a realization: Young Chevy Chase reminds me almost exactly of Ryan Reynolds.

Otherwise known as "pizza."

Hawaiian pizza is a fucking abomination, and whoever eats it should be ashamed of themselves.

Thanks! It's a huge life change that came quicker than I was expecting, but I'm absolutely excited for it.

Thank you! And now we're just having to contend with the fact that she got pregnant on the honeymoon, sooo… another big life change coming up at some point, possibly, if she doesn't miscarry!

Was he sweeping up popcorn?

Ceremony was pretty fantastic; everything went off swimmingly! Except we just got the wedding video in and, um… me and my groomsmen were saying some pretty horrifically inappropriate shit in the getting-ready room ten or fifteen minutes beforehand. Have to delete that shit before it ruins some careers. And then an…

I sat next to Aziz Ansari at a restaurant once. My wife kinda-sorta recognized him, and I didn't have the heart to tell her it was nobody important.

I was at a bar with him in Brooklyn less than two months ago. He's fine.

Completely disagree. I spent the first 34 years of my life never being in a happy relationship, and it always hurt to be around friends with happy, healthy relationships — kind of like if you're starving and three months late on the rent and the electricity has been shut off and you've been going to the food bank to…

Have you seen that Mr. Hands video?

I mean, less conflicted, obviously. They voted for Trump; fuck 'em.