Montana is not that exotic, people.

Well, cemeteries are hot…

Such a shame that he was fucked to death by his couch.

Yeah, that was my main takeaway, too… that's fucking weird.

To a 33 year old human female, of all things.

Girlfriend I had in high school who gave me a handjob and then when she finished, scooped the cum out of my shorts and ate it. Still the hottest fucking thing ever.

Hey so, just throwing this out there: I'm getting married in two days. What the fuck has the world come to?

Who?

I know of at least one McDonald's in Manhattan that had delivery in 2002. So, way to take 15 years to catch up with the times, other McDonald's.

Hey man! How's it going?

I refuse to watch the NFL for ethical reasons, since you're basically just watching people give each other brain damage for your amusements.

One of the benefits of not having kids until later in life — I'm currently 36, and will be at leas 37 before I have kids even if it happens as soon as I get married — is that I'll be too old to practically have the ability to have an affair with one of my daughter's college sorority sisters.

Yeah, like two months left as a single guy — getting terrified!

If you find baseball boring, I find you boring.

It's really hard on a toddler to get a terminal cancer diagnosis, but on the bright side, at least they won't linger long enough for the AIDS to kick in.

My fiance swears I will find incest jokes to be less funny once we have kids, but I seriously doubt it. I never stopped finding cancer jokes funny after my mom got cancer (funnier, actually, because she's fucking awful).

I mean… I leave for work around 8:45-9:00 a.m., normally get home around 8:00 p.m., sit and eat dinner with the fiance, talk / etc. until around 11, then read until 1:00 a.m. or so… not really any time for video games in there.

Work is my me-time. And my commute.

It very much depends. From a lot of people, yes, you can tell that the racism / sexism / whateverism is coming from a place of hate. Others, not. Sometimes, it's a mix — Daniel Tosh's racist jokes betray what seems to be true racism, while his homophobic jokes don't betray a hint of real homophobia.

You can make racist, homophobic, and transphobic jokes in real life, and not be racist, homophobic, or transphobic. It's totally fine to have a sense of humor.