I've found, as I've gotten older, that I have absolutely zero time for video games. I bought a PS4 in November of 2015, and have since played precisely two games on it — one of which, GTAV, I'd already played on PS3. Time, it's a valuable thing. Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings…

It was actually supposed to be a documentary about a dude masturbating in his car in front of a Planned Parenthood.

He doesn't have to read the books. It's enough to know he owns them. Like that mobster in The Freshman who stole the Mona Lisa just to keep in his basement.

I have not heard of any of these people except Tracey Ullman. I can only assume this will be the hottest new show of 1988.

Suicide isn't a matter to be joked about, or faked, or anything like that.

I think I've seen like five episodes. Seemed funny, but I've found I have no taste for sitcoms as I age. Old men have no interest in laughter.

Joey Fatone from N*Sync just celebrated his 40th birthday.

I live in Brooklyn and work in Manhattan. The absolute last thing I'm worried about is nuclear war. It's the having to live through the real-life mashup of The Man in the High Castle / Being There that I want to avoid.

If anyone wonders where I've been for the last few months, it's "staring at my Twitter feed so hard that my eyes are literally dried out dusty hulks of nothing." I kind of want to die. I'm thinking of asking for political asylum in Ireland.

My mixed-race African-American kids with extremely Irish names are going to have very fun lives.

I cannot imagine dating somebody with different political beliefs than I have. Like, that's basically the foundation for your entire personality, and dating somebody with differing political views would be like — no, actually is — dating somebody who sees everything about the world from a fundamentally different…

I'm white and very, very, very culturally Irish. My fiance is a very light-skinned African American. Nobody gives a shit because it's the 21st Century.

Hey Foxy Mop Handle Mama, That's Me.

I never left.

I wonder how she was in bed?

I don't care about the USA either.

The point is to force people not to forget the opposition to that man. For the media to be forced to cover constant, daily protests for the entirety of his campaign (which there have been outside his apartment building). The point is to keep media outlets from lapsing into complacency and thinking that this is all…

Best action movie ever made, in my opinion.

Didn't he do Lost Highway?

I love Kevin Smith, and I am super-excited to see Yoga Hosers. I am probably the only person alive who can say that last part.