That is basically exactly what I picture when I think of a Magic: The Gathering tournament.

So, if you're on a date with somebody and ask them about their hobbies, and they tell you they're a competitive Beanie Baby collector… are you going to fuck them?

No, I totally get that people enjoy things I don't. I don't enjoy playing video games; I get that a lot of people do. That's fine. But Magic: The Gathering was something that was already played out and done with when I was in high school in the '90's, and was even at in its heyday was still an extreme niche thing for…

I have never played Magic, and this article makes absolutely no fucking sense to me, so I don't really think that last part works. I have no idea what "pull," "draft," "library," or "deck" mean in this context. If they're trying to even remotely pitch this to anybody who's not a Magic: The Gathering aficionado, then…

… anything beyond a local tournament? There are organized Magic: The Gathering competitions?

This is the absolute definition of "slow news day." It can't get any slower than this.

She'll be Mrs. DBag. She said she'd rather have the last name from a man she chose than the last name from a man she didn't choose. Still not sure why she'd choose a DBag like me, though…

I quit reading the books when Yoren died; I never stopped watching the show.

Thank you!!!! I'm so happy I just laugh all the time because life isn't supposed to be good to me.

Sometimes I get confused between pedantry and pederasty.

Most annoying parts of the process: Having to be completely naked every time I set foot in the room for three months (so that none of them could hitch a ride on my clothes) and then shower the second I got out of the room). I tried to set foot in the room as little as possible, so I wouldn't have to shower eight or…

My fiance made fun of me for crying at that scene. I made fun of her for being in love with me. It was fun.

Be careful with that, man. When I had bed bugs, I had the exterminator come in, kill everything, and didn't set foot in my bedroom again for a month. He came back in, found a few stragglers alive, killed those, and then I stayed out of my bedroom for two more weeks until I was able to go back in to my room. Took me a…

You should have been more honest; most dudes like tall guys.

Congratulations!!!

Fucking futures markets have been brutal, man.

I've already lost two infants that way.

All of my cameras are stuck under toilet seats.

No, it's Ice-9.

I've seen people gamble away more than that in Vegas. It's kind of exhilarating since it's not my money.