That gets WAY messier than child abuse allegations.

Ooh, like playing "spot the minority" at the RNC?

Well, who shit in your cereal?

Everybody tells me that. I'll check it out some day.

The "Learned Their Lesson Channel"?

Aw, I loved Killer Elite.

And twitches like it has Parkinson's Disease.

You know who said he was sorry? Albert Speer. He still did 20 years in prison.

There are legitimately people who don't see anything wrong with this. I've read people just saying "kids will be kids, why is this a big deal?" People are terrible.

They should be thanking him for letting them serve his needs!

No, the joke was on the audience member thinking that Jesus Christ was actually Montel Williams.

I just want to be super-seriously clear.

Honey Boo Boo, kid-touching. 19 Kids & Counting, kid-touching. America is well on its way t.v. network that's JUST reality shows about pedophiles, as God intended.

"Don't feel too bad, Montel. We all want to touch children sometimes; it's only natural."

I was hoping for Buster Posey.

*only

Age is just a number, but she's really got that "washed up old whore" vibe hanging around her now, sort of like the street hookers with no teeth who patrol my corner at night. This look was sexy on Milla Jovovich in 1995, but on Miley Cyrus now it sort of looks like if Cher tried playing a 17 year old high school…

It's hilarious that you weren't the first person to make that joke.

Is Miley Cyrus relevant any more? Like, in any way? She's not even good for masturbation fodder at this point.

Everything Jason Statham touches is solid gold. I am going to actually go see a Melissa McCarthy movie in the theatre because it has Jason Statham in it. If you go see a Jason Statham movie, you can be assured it's going to have Jason Statham being a badass in it, which is really all a movie needs to be enjoyable.