WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO SEXIST YOU MISANDRIST!

It was Hitler. It's always Hitler.

Sat, you've met me. Do I look like a person who has venereal diseases?

And please don't troll the Tolerability Index Forums. It's impolite. Unless your method of trolling is giving me fellatio, in which case, I'll allow it.

The priest said "it's a good thing we're together in this, because there's safety in numbers," and the white supremacist says "oh yeah? Tell that to six million Jews."

I prefer paper bags because they're sturdier, but I prefer plastic bags because I can carry more of them from my car to my apartment. Preferably, I'd like to buy a slave to carry my groceries so I wouldn't have to worry about such things. Preferably, a Belarussian slave because she'd think it was a step up in life.

All dudes. Ladies would have been more interesting with the topless.

I watched it alone on my birthday while drinking Jameson out of the bottle. True story.

Yes, it was worth the hundred-minute investment, but the thing is, The Interview is now one of three movies I've ever paid for from an on-demand service. And the other two were 500 Days of Summer and Paul Blartt: Mall Cop. So it's not building an impressive track record for me.

After decades of research and tens of thousands of hours of blood, sweat, and tears, I managed to master time travel so that I could go back in time to Honolulu on December 6, 1941 and get a really good pineapple burger before they started using growth hormones in cows.

I rented it from Google Play. It was amusing. But now I'm pissed I didn't wait so I could watch it for free, because it wasn't, like, $5.99 amusing, you know?

I wish! It was actually the idea of a guy I worked with at McDonald's at the time.

No no, K, you misunderstand. We painted these letters on our chests. We stood shirtless screaming and whooping and chanting "R.E.O.! R.E.O.!" for two hours.

FIRST!

"W" because I didn't want to be close to the ends and have to deal with possibly getting grabbed by security and escorted out.

Wait, same characters but younger? So after he gets shot by the cops, what's the rest of the movie about?

We planned it ahead of time, for, like, months.

When I was in high school (this was like 1996), a bunch of us went to an R.E.O. Speedwagon concert and painted our chests with "R E O S P E E D W A G O N" and had front row tickets and just screamed and shouted and cheered the entire time.

You can always dig sperm out of somebody's used vajankle:

It's actually a sequel to Last Tango in Paris.