This is a very cute story and I truly appreciate it because it really makes Ms. Esposito come off as a really nice, friendly, cool, down-to-earth person you'd want to hang out with. Not a word of snark from me.

One of them already got a chunk of her stomach, so she developed an immunity.

You were going to go order from that catalog is where you were going.

Yeah, she's totally insane in every way, and supposedly an uncaring, manipulative bitch. Which just makes me want her even more.

Instead of using cialis to get an erection, you could just jam a footlong, 1/4" thick glass rod up your urethra. Then, when you want to get soft again, just smash it with a hammer.

God, don't I wish?

Is it more or less cruel that I have tickets to their show next week?

Monique Powell has been trying to get out of the trunk of my car for 17 years.

I'm not a Mets fan, but you can just feel the sadness emanating from the place even when they're not playing.

I have never seen Foo Fighters live, and I want to, but having to go to Citi Field is almost depressing enough to stop me.

I also did once And the Academy Award for Dying goes to The Jews.

In case it wasn't clear, that last one was implying I broke up with the girl because she stopped being too young to get pregnant.

The best one I've ever seen for that was "For my next trick, I will pull "A Big Black Dick" out of "A Bigger, Blacker Dick."

My favorites I ever played:

WHERE IS ELEGANT VICTORIAN LADY WHEN WE NEED HER THE MOST

Confession: I just can't be bothered with all of this shit. There's just so much nonsense that I can't be bothered with. Not in this thread, just in general.

His name is "Dickhead Killjoy." Do you really need to work at that?

And boom goes the dynamite:

As other people who have better Google-fu (or aren't at work) showed downthread, it actually isn't:

That's the story!!!