I used to masturbate to her on X-Files every week when I was in high school. Ah, memories.

I really liked Coheed & Cambria's "Welcome Home." I don't care what they've been up to. I think one of them is in jail for robbing a pharmacy for Oxycontin or something.

I honestly hadn't noticed it before, and wow that's weird.

Ok! I'll bring the ballgag!

I didn't say that was my feeling on the subject. Jeez.

He doesn't hate women. He loves women. As long as they keep their mouths shut and look pretty.

Who's Shelby Woo?

As I've said before, I'm a car person, and Donks are the most ludicrous and hilarious of modified cars, because they just look so fucking stupid. Seriously; do a google image search of donk. You'll get just an endless sea of the dumbest looking cars in existence.

Counterpoint: an appreciate of the donk:

Seriously.

Two films: Red Heat, and Dead Heat. Both 80's buddy cop shows, but only one features Joe Piscopo's corpse saying that it wants to be reincarnated as a girl's bicycle seat.

Your comment about how the dude "kept on stopping the sex so he could hit his fucking meth pipe" rings for me in the same vein as my girl who started smoking crack immediately after we finished having sex. Right after I ran out of her apartment, I cried. Hysterically. At what my life had become. And I kept on…

Everything in my life makes sense now.

I don't see why Robert Downey Jr. has to be involved in this picture. Just make Iron Man wear his suit the entire time, and you don't need a real actor.

You realize that "seven figures" means somewhere between one and nine million dollars, right?

You were blocked for a while because the A.V. Club is trying to kick out all of the Jews.

Leonard Pierce emailed them about his death last year.

It's normally my top priority in choosing a rescue animal.

I'm more of a dog person. Cats just don't have versatile enough vaginas.

Without the forcible sodomy, what's the point?