There's a scene where Eleanor of Aquitaine is scolding him about something and his sexy naked wife is in bed with him and he just. Calmly pulls a hair off his tongue.
And it's my favorite 3 seconds in cinema history.
#turnthatcherryout

Doesn't bother me. I thought I had a breast lump and turns out I don't, so literally who the fuck cares?

Did you see the terrible version with Russell Crowe and Cate Blanchett? The best thing about it was Oscar Isaac and Lea Seydoux as sexy crazy Plantagenet villains.

Speaking of which, have you recently watched their Peter Pan? Mr. Darling was way….uh…different than I remember.

It was eerily perfect.

(class groans except for the two kids in the back who are taking this class for the third time)

Ringdingdingdingdingding "I'm not Amy Adams"

Why did Prince John have a female lion design? Where was his mane? Also, why was he talking and wearing clothes?

Richard Armitage played him in a terrible BBC version, but he was so handsome and in so much leather that I barely cared.

Right? And he was really cute with his fro in that Bar Mitzvah sketch.

Did Sir Hiss downvote me?
(ties him into knot and puts him in barrel of ale)

Is she not?

He talks like a forty year-old white geometry teacher.
"Cosines? Sines? I bet you're like 'Mr. Sobjeck, that's wack as fu….udge.'" (awkward gang sign)

(whistles opening song)
(strums guitar)

You know who Jessica Chastain reminds me of?
Maid Marian from the Disney Robin Hood.

"..This costs more than the budget of my whole project."
"It's an estimate."

He's also the "Adam Sandler of voicing stop motion foxes."

Did anyone else know about the time Mark Wahlberg purposefully blinded a Vietnamese man?

April, full of candy and daffodils and repeat screenings of the original "Wicker Man."
"Some things in their natural state have the most VIVID colors."

Imagine Laura Dern breathing through her nose for 6 months.