I keep imagine Michael Stuhlbarg's film professor character from Hugo collecting reels and reels of old Will Smith film and pontificating endlessly about it to small French children.

I dunno, I just kind of…lost interest for a while.
IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN! (My caps are enthusiastic not sarcastic. Tone is hard on the internet)

…….Yes, it's true, this man has no dick.
Wait, that's Bill Murray.
Eh.

It's not even good to workout to, because with most of her songs, you find yourself stopping and staring into the abyss if you accidentally listen to the lyrics.
"Make them go ah ah ah, as you shoot into the sky…sky…sky? What?"

Overwire, underwire: she needs all the support she can get.

Qualifications: He's *worked* in the private sector and knows they expect results.

Cookie, you are killing it today.
"It" being "complacent societal racism."

In my mind, Dikachu is just basically a shiba inu with rabbit ears and a dickface.

AND all of my family!

Is that his Fagin-esque British counterpart?

And then her kids get busy with each other.
It's like the Plantagenets up there in terms of cyclical mating patterns.

Put your thumb in your mouth.

Yeah right, like the EVIL Twin is dumb enough to get locked in the attic.
(smokes a cigarette)

Black mold or a Lifetime Flowers in the Attic reboot? Hmm…..

For some reason, I read that all in Nucky Thompson's voice.

"He who weareth a denim jacket is an abomination." Agreed.

Has anyone else ever watched the episode of "China, IL" where God comes back as a super bro with a fedora and lists ten new Beach Boys-inspired commandments?

"Sister, was Hitler a Catholic?"
"NO…..But Prince? Yeah, definitely."

Catholic middle schools are weird places because the people who knew each other when they were 5 grow up knowing each other all the way to 13 with little to no matriculation of "new students" in or out. As such, Catholic kids keep pretty gender segmented (because they're not attracted to people they've known so long)…

Prince is the only one who can explain the polar bear.