It would be a ballet fitness workout movie where you learn how to do Katniss's hair in the crowning scene and also talk about how sex with the new Sherlock Holmes would be "frightening, impersonal, and chafing."

Aw, no falsetto "Lover Boy" song?

That might be the sickest burn I've ever read.

You get a little IUD that you put into your cable box to prevent having to watch more than the good episodes.

Can HBO hire whoever okayed this? Because yes please.

Contact your cable provider if seasons are light and no more than 2-3 episodes.

Well, peasants that are also not werewolves/vampires/wendigos played by children of B-list British character actors.

I have a gay friend who was really holding out for Lucy/Mina to be a thing. Or at least for Lucy to be gay. And the more I talked with her about it, I realized how unfair most modern interpretations of Dracula are because they certainly tantalize the audience with an "oooooooh, they're rather chummy aren't they, nudge…

Which one? Because giving Dracula any sort of humanity sort of makes him boring to me. I really liked Kinski's Dracula/Nosferatu because he just…was. And he wasn't going to stop eating people for any reason except death.

Isn't it a bummer that sucking the life out of a kid only makes you about middle-aged? Damn, try a different spell.

"We're interested in…….children."
"Hey, it might take me a few tries, but I'll do it."
GOD.

Thackary Binks, thou mangy feline.

Cumberbatch also wears a lot of shapeless lumpy sweaters, so I mean, he kind of looks like he's wearing male maternity clothes anyway.

Cumberbatch, obviously.
Well, it's obvious to a female internet user.

(deep sigh) No.

Do you have a sheriff and does he really look like Richard Armitage?

A movie about being Michael Fassbender and Benedict Cumberbatch's slave?
(Writing Credits: Tumblr)
I knew it!

It hurts how hard I laughed at that.

Your avatar has a baby in it and therefore this is a little weird.

Also, is there a reason why his grandpa looks like Szell from "Marathon Man"?
I mean.
Is it safe?