Excuse me - can I get "shtupped" in here?
(not making light of the situation, either - just feel the compelling need to deliver a Buddy Hackett straight line)

LORD AND LADY DOUCHEBAG!
Douchebag!! What's this secret you've been sitting on?

NOT IN THE FACE!! NOT IN THE FACE!!

Tasha Robinson of "The Onion"?
That's confusing to me. Does the AV Club not get the love it deserves, or is Onion management the totalitarian regime I've always imagined?

Some of the best evenings of my college sophomore year.

YOU PICKED THE JAM OF A CHILD MOLESTER!!!
IFC is making me happy.

Best of luck on your new adventure, Amelie
Yeah, like commenters before me have stated, I'll try watching The Office now that Amelie is on board.

"Chief, he says his name is Da Craw"
"Not 'Da Craw' - 'DA CRAW!!!'"

1970.

God damn stupid Jordan Catalano…
… I just remembered that he broke Angela's heart.

Cake and coffee at Amelie's afterwards?
I'm betting she hosts a wonderful soiree.

Thank you, Genevieve
All my AB love has been expressed by other commentators, so I just wanted to say thank you for bringing us this wonderful interview.

I really do believe Amelie owns all the Twilight Barbies
And, she owns them un-ironically.

Eliza Dushku
'Cuz she's pretty to look at and looks like she would put up with my crap day in, day out.

I had to Google "Falcor" - I'm so out of touch. My 1980's self even more so.

Easy Star All-Stars
Easy Star's Lonely Hearts Dub Band - that shit is awesome. Full disclosure: I loved Dub Side of the Moon and Radiodread.

I'm patiently waiting on Rosie Perez voiceovers
OHMYGODYOUMISSEDYOTURN!!! YOU SO STOOPID!!! TURN UH-ROUN HERE!!! NO - HERE - HERE!!! TURN UH-ROUN!!!

She didn't do this solely because she's a big ol' lush who likes being sent free booze
I call bullshit. No offense, Genevieve.

Nice one, Breakfast Balls - I was going to post this as well. The singing pills crack me up always. And, by "always" I mean "when I'm abusing prescription pain killers."

Wii Fit makes me lonlier than I already am
I have to contend with false love from actual human beings - I don't need my Wii trainer giving me empty encouragement.