I was a police officer. I'm sure some of you comedians have a handcuff or police baton joke to make, and all I have to say to that is: you wish.

You are absolutely correct, I have no balls. I'd be some sort of tranny if I did.

Wow, cup, I can see why you're such a hit at parties, what with your dry, scathing wit that delights all who are fortunate enough to receive it.

I'd be more likely to get "THIS SHIT IS SUBJECT TO CHANGE", myself.

Let's hear it for the newest member of the AB, bitchboys and killers.

Let me tell you, if you think I'm a coward in the pain sense and therefore opted for the pierce, you've never gotten something pierced. My sister healed and was pain free weeks before I was.

I think the best commentators are the ones who, even if they don't add much to the enjoyment of watching the game, at least don't actively annoy you. I don't expect much, really, just quit saying inane crap like "this is a crucial 3rd down situation right here" or "they have to punt here" just because it's 4th…

This is why…
I opted for a body pierce rather than a tattoo. Get sick of a pierce, you can always remove the ring and let the hole grow closed. But a tattoo you get sick of is a thousand dollar laser procedure to correct.

[Driver hit by oncoming traffic. Resulting traffic jam caused by rubber necking douchebags gawking at the bloody corpse results in emergency vehicles arriving too late to save an orphanage full of doe eyed urchins and nuns]

Yeah, I can see how that would get annoying pretty quickly.

I know why other networks do it, but I do know that Fox shows specifically often premiere later is because they have the MLB playoff rights, and they'd rather wait and premeire a show when it can consistently run in its scheduled time slot than premiere it, then have it bumped for two consecutive weeks, then get in…

No, it's the Thursday Night Edition of the Saturday Night Edition of Sunday Night Football. I swear I actually heard this once leading into a Thursday night game.

You know, Pilgrim, I find myself dismayed by your Buffyhate. I used to think you were so cool, and now I am disillusioned. Damn you, damn you to hell!

I would suggest that there's no such thing as too much gratutious nudity, but then I have no children to warp.

Suddenly I'm very glad I won't have much time for TV this year, what with internship coming up. Thanks to the AVC, I know I won't really be missing much at all. Thanks, AVC!

But who reminds you of your superego, Pilgrim, that's what we really want to know.

I'd say we could call them fucking retards, but that's probably offensive to retards.

Runts! That's the candy I was trying to think of earlier.

I'm with JVS, ranch is "meh" at best.

Bee Man - I live in Five Guys central, and they make a seriously fine burger. It's definitely a franchise that should be everywhere.