If I get married I can stop having sex all together? Where do I sign up?

Personally, I plan to get married because I'm told I will receive several fondue sets and will allow me to stop doing perverted sex acts in order to keep my man happy.

As always, I third the rye and ginger love.

@AJR - Seriously. Why do you guys have to take so long to get off? Me, I'm off in less than five minutes and ready to turn in.

I appreciate the sentiment, AJR, but what would your wife say?

@JVS - Ah, but did you want to hit on Sgt. Callahan, therein lies the question?

Top five answers on the board - things that make your butt hurt.

All I know is, water by itself takes a long, long time to make the burning go away. I would gladly have grown gills so I could have kept my head submerged in a bucket of water - every time I came of for air, the burning started anew.

@thefount - Now THAT'S comedy.

I don't handle peppers, but I have gotten OC sprayed in the face as part of my police training.

I'm trying to avoid the trolls this week.

I regret to inform you
that I am not man enough to face the Rain. I'm not a man, but even if I was, I would not be man enough to face the Rain. My mouth burns when I eat mild hot wings. I would be the one with smoke coming out of the ears and tears streaming down the cheeks.

Oh, ow!

The "stretch monster" episodes were "Squeeze" and "Tooms". Both first season. "Home" (incestuous limbless mama) is 4th season. All excellent episodes. I always thought the human (or at least quasi-human) monsters were the best, which is why "Pusher" and the Donnie Pfaster episdoes (or at least the first one) were…

Exactly what would testicles be a methaphor for?

@phel - The first season is in my Netflix queue. I don't get Showtime, sadly.

That totally should have been the interview. I want more interviews where the characters involved embarrass themselves totally, which is what would happen to us ordinary folk if we got to ask celebrities questions.

Hatin - please share.

I'd say Mulder was usually right in principle (something freaky/supernatural going on) but more often wrong about the specifics, at least until he had his "epiphany" about 3/4 of the way through the show.

Yeah, I have to say I'm not at all impressed with what I've seen of Duchovny so far in the trailers. And I had such a thing for him. How the mighty have fallen. Still, both of them were very well cast - good looking but not in the overwhelming model way that would detract from the "realism" of the show. And I…