If anyone needs me, I'll be gargling an entire bottle of Scope, one mouthful at a time, until my mouth feels clean again.

Would you like some of these torTulla chips, or would you prefer some of the Uriah Heap-tos?  We're all out of Rushffles.

Dang it, Thrace, this is fan fiction, it exists in a dimension parallel to logic.

I don't know what I expected, but I feel like I got more than I wanted.  A lot more.

Same here, up until today.

You have that in your notebook, too?

Look, I'm sorry if you've had a bad week, but you're just begging for attention at this point.  Come on.  Jim Belushi? 

Hey, it's Burl!  Heaven's sakes, is even National Treasure Tom Hanks not spared from your savage wit?

I'm…puzzled.  I thought we liked Nicolas Cage for sort of being a trainwreck, as well as having made a number of good movies over the years.  Yes, he's made a bunch of terrible films, too.

Go home, HDB, you're drunk.

*Sigh* Pun threads always bring new zealand everyone wants to join.

Sorry, but you chose 'popular', not 'best'.  You should know that those two things are very rarely the same.

Guárdelo en sus pantalones, Spielbergo.  This is why we can't have nice things, like a Caption Contest.

The caption was so good I debated whether or not to even read the article.  Spoiler: I did ultimately read the article.

@avclub-589622fb3974db41fbe4a37b78d8585c:disqus You taste terrible!

The hell am I clicking on that link. I know you.

What would you have Will Harris do, ask Sam Elliot to tone it down?  Because kids might read this?

Good lord.  Reading this makes me feel like those Rock Ridge fuck-ups from Blazing Saddles after Sheriff Bart mentions Randolph Scott. Like Christmas and a birthday all in one, if both of those things weren't annual disappointments.

How about in cop shows?  How does the Man trade against the CSI?

Holy Shit. Let it be said that Will Harris always brings the good stuff.