Isn't it obvious?  High schools and shopping malls make for spectacular tracking shots.

No, that was a sign from God.  A sign that it was time for Tim Tebow to quit football and go get a job at Garritty Motors, selling cars.

Fuck no!  Daredevil yells at him for doing things like punching drug dealers in the face.  There's one Daredevil comic where Cage glares at a guy so hard he runs off, and Spider-Man is all "damn, Cage, you took that guy down with a look!"

I'm sure they'll make it right after Static Shock, starring Donald Glover.  *sobs*

I knew you'd be able to make sense of this.  Christ.  What would we do without you here?  If this place got any less sexy, I'd be afraid that Chris Christie would come here to get measured for pants.

You're adorable for posting on the AV Club about having the slightest bit of guilt for disliking something.  It's practically in the disclaimer for registering as a commenter.

I thought we were into evil, though?  Please?

I'm just appalled that someone would make phallic objects out of beloved animals, aren't you?

It is not Boner Time, @avclub-605302b7b2612ace0b5716f3285b7ba0:disqus .  I don't care what your username is, you put that away.  The Perv Thread happens later and you know it.

This might be the best O'Nealing of the day so far.  Yes, I read the byline.

Not bad, but this doesn't compare to Lil Wayne using a phone call from jail to record a guest verse on some other rapper's album.

Exactly!  Why the hell do people think I exercise, anyway?  Because I feel better about myself?  Fuck that.  It's so I can get my bone on when I get old!

I could give a shit about any of this Throne Game stuff, let's hear more about Stevie Nicks dating Prince.

Christ.  Now I'm going to spend the whole day wondering what David Fincher's Preacher would be like.  I'd also love a Fincher adaptation of Y: The Last Man.

Good news!  You didn't get that horrible STD that mutates its victims.  Just CancerAIDS!

True, but I have a lot of faith in Fincher not to make a mess of things.  A Fincher adaptation of a Charles Burns book needs to look absolutely terrible for me to be uninterested.

STOP

@avclub-1d04064d540beb34e0cc414561bc6f35:disqus I should introduce you to @satelliteinternetisskynet:disqus
, you two would probably get along well.

I'm going to end up watching this, I can tell right now.  I already kind of feel bad about it.

*scrawls something on a pad of paper; hands Hat a prescription for One Cold Shower*