"…I ate his cheerios with some raisins and a nice apple juice…"

"I don't know why he saved my life. Maybe in those last… (pause)… **sighs slowly**… Christ, I'm hungry… maybe in those, oh I said that already. He loved life more than he ever had before. Oh, hey Dirty Dozen is on. Calista! Hey, Ca— oh that's right, she's jogging. Not just his life, but his life. Oops. Fuck. …

Yeah, he wanted Jones to be a dapper, James Bond type which reduces his contribution a few notches, but he certainly gets some credit still.

I'd never heard that there were people out there claiming that. Lucky, I guess. I can't even get angry, it just makes me feel ill.

"No, keep this one in."
"We've told you you're not allowed here anymore."

A Very Wolverine Christmas

My mantra when reading their independent film analyses…

"Submitted for your approval: An ordinary man in an ordinary town who believes he can carry 4 beers in plastic cups across a crowded dance floor…"

When that came out I had many, many students in my Intro To Film class try to write papers asserting that it was one of the - if not the - greatest film ever made.

What this film presupposes is: He did?

What's really weird (lame? uncreative?) is that The Guardian online did just this bit a couple days ago.

"Drinking 7-11 coffee on the toilet! Why doesn't everyone do this!? I'm a geniu- AAHHH!!"

"Gilmore Girls? Who's interested in that?? Now, a Greatest American Hero theme, maybe a Sigmund & The Sea Monsters theme, that'd getting 'em lining around the block!"

That's why I had to be very specific about what the drunks were doing.

But with fewer drunks shooting bottle rockets at passing cars screaming, "FUCK YEAH FREEDOM!"

And then vote.

I was at a dinner where someone said "He just says what I'm thinking!" and I wanted the conversation to end, desperately, but I couldn't help but reply, "You think those things?"

One is a fetid, bloated thing spewing toxic gas and nauseating bile.

It means the Clintons got to him. THEY GET TO EVERYONE!!!

I've been dead the whole time?? This is worse than the time I got drunk and drove the General Lee over Boss Hogg!