A sense of joy.

"'It'll look cool' I said. 'I'll get weird tan-lines if I wear boots,' I said. IDIOT."

"How Waterworld Tried To Imitate The Road Warrior and Wound Up Making A Better Film"

It can be 12 jokes!

OKay, how great would it be if he concluded this reasonable interview on an affable talk show by throwing a garbage can through the window?

You guessed it…

Are you a model?

new "masterful" stand up special.

He's history's greatest monster!

Oh. So… yes. Okey dokey then.

Jon Stewart has an entire planet named after him?

Too clever. They're more of the "Dr. Jolly's Pharmacy" level of humor.

I'm in Oregon and they're EVERYWHERE in my town. For the first year anyone who's a medical THC dispensary can sell openly (until the "official" stores open), so they popped up every few blocks.

"Hm… how to really make it twist. I know! People are living longer, healthier lives! I'll take some people with networks of family and every health resource and just mow them down in what's barely considered past middle-age anymore! Ha! Oh, sometimes I amaze even myself."

El Chapo got super pissed when Penn ordered a pizza during the interview.

Ooh, the song where your friend asks if you listened to it and you decide whether to lie and bluff your way through, or be honest and endure the nagging will be SUPER intense!

I am the one who runs from both the meetings, and the Reply-All emails…

Certainly better than, say "China Girl" or "Cat People" for advice.

"Okay, so when you go to ask Jennifer to Homecoming, be charming, but don't show any particular signs of life. Wait until it's raining and, well, I'm not sure if you should lie down in it or, you know, fabricate… I think it's kind of both. But once you ask - and this is key - do NOT wave bye-bye. And don't bring up…

HAHAHAHAHA! "Mule…"